Friday, June 15, 2012

It's time to chill the bleep out

So I saw on shhh....it's lizeylou the other day that her kids told her to chill out. And she agreed. It struck a chord and got me thinking about the repetitive nature of being a parent. Obviously the general 'Groundhog Day' part of it, but also the things we say, over and over and over again. A couple of years ago I wrote this list - Things I say at least once, every day, and I wondered if much had changed. Turns out it's pretty similar, and it's certainly not particularly chilled out.




Ben and I are really trying to change this. He's got a book, The Incredible Years, which has given us many eureka moments of "Oh God, I do that ALL the time".

And I'm pleased to report that things are getting calmer, and more chilled every day.

If you have any great book recommendations or eureka moments, let me know.
Have a lovely weekend! I'm excited to be treeing and shedding once again. x


14 comments:

  1. I have 'The Incredible Years' but it's been sitting on a shelf gathering dust - going to get it down and give it a read now.

    I definitely relate to all the things on your list, plus basically just yelling the name of my youngest all the time in a kind of dog-trainer voice. Sigh... I'm looking forward to it getting more civilised.

    Great post x

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  2. laughed out loud at your dog trainer comment lottie! x

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  3. This is a great post! It made me laugh as I can identify with a lot of your daily comments. I have found that since becoming a mum I nag. A lot. And it is so annoying but I mean really, how many times do I have to say:

    - don't touch the tv
    - don't ride your bike into the door/cupboard/table
    - crayons are for colouring books not the table
    - take that out of your mouth

    And so on and so forth :-)

    x

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  4. Lovely post Fran, I can definitely relate to the repetitive nature of parenting, and just wanting it to be more fun, more spontaneous, less grumpy and shouty. One of my best moments recently was when Max asked me to 'just make me a scabbard for this dagger' - not a real dagger obviously! Normally any request to 'just make' something is met with a (more or less) patient explanation of exactly how complicated/time consuming it would be, and how it's just not the right time because I'm busy, followed by him feeling disappointed and frustrated and me questioning if I'm a good enough Mother, if I'm really a creative person at all if I can't even make something for my kids, blah blah blah. But this time I had my sewing machine out, I grabbed some felt, and I sewed him a scabbard in about 2 minutes. And when he said it didn't matter that it didn't have a belt loop, I added one, even though it was time for me to cook dinner. I would love to be like that every day, but once in a while is better than never.

    Have a lovely weekend & hope you enjoy your day with Lou and Kerry. xx

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  5. The annoying thing is I do know where most things are...
    If you find the secret to stopping talking for even 5 mins, please pass it on
    Great list & it will be SO different in 10 years xxxx

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  6. mine are: "i'm coming"; "in a minute"; "no, you can't have any more paper. use the other side"; "can you just stop singing for a minute?" and "no, you can't wear that sleeveless dress, it's freezing/no, you can't wear wellies, it's boiling" (to greta)
    happy times....
    x

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  7. Mine have changed now the girls are older... it's been a recent change too I think. Not quite sure of the repeat patterns just yet but I think they all revolve around nagging to get them to do their chores... still nagging about piano/guitar practise too, and definitely 'how was your day at school?'. I think they're the only sentences I get to finish these days! Actually.. now that I think about it they answer or rebuff before the words are even out! :)) Funny.
    Lovely that you are treeing and shedding - how great to have that network... do they refer to you as Booking? ;)
    Kx

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  8. and I'm about 8-10 years ahead of you....'no you have to go to bed now, it's 10pm (and I want to chillout', 'no you can't have your phone upstairs', 'I think £5 is a reasonable amount for pocket money' and 'I love you too'......TEENAGERS!

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  9. great to read your comments.

    oh mrs cheese - i am dreading the teen years already!

    kylie - yes. we are tree, shed and books! x

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  10. This made me chuckle. I've been changing 'Yes, of course I can do that for you, no problem' to 'I'm sorry, I don't have time to do that at the moment'. It's been a revelation!

    I don't have any book recommendations but I find a blustery walk normally clears the fluff from my mind, and a good laugh at myself keeps me sane.

    Emily x

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  11. that's a real 'it's funny coz it's true' post, i recognise so many things i say in there! x

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  12. Oh gosh, I dread to think what I say every day Fran. I loved this post. I know my list starts everyday with 'no we can't watch TV this morning...why do I have to say this every day?'

    x

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  13. All too familiar. It's terribly wearisome this parenting isn't it? I have The Incredible Years too - I even did a course around it at the local children's centre a couple of years ago. It was quite brilliant actually, much better than just reading the book, if you have a surestart centre near you it's worth seeing if they do one there. Plus you get coffee and stickers. Yes really. Stickers. The other mums there were lovely, and when we pass each other in town now, we always give each other a special kind of "I know all the shit you've been through and you're doing great" kind of smile :)

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  14. Not quite in the same vein but we do find ourselves saying "I said SHIP!!" more times that we'd like in our household!

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